This has been a tough week for writing. Even my “10 minutes a day” rule seemed onerous. I found myself facing that old fear of running out of time. But not having enough time is an illusion. We all have 24 hours in our day; that never changes. What happened this week?
My “job that pays the bills” pushed and pulled me in all directions. There are changes happening at work and while most are positive, they are affecting me. I feel a shifting beneath my feet; just enough movement to make me feel unsteady. There is a sense of loss too, some of it a natural by-product of the work changes and some of it a result of seeing my Dad’s decline as he struggles with the effects of Lewy Body Dementia. My day off was spent in Gravenhurst with Dad and while I wanted to be there and had a good day, I missed my chance to relax and refuel. I have also been overly sensitive to the cold, craving extra sleep and hot nourishing soup. The soup- making meant time spent at the stove instead of at my desk. When I did grab a few minutes to write, the pen in my hand felt as cold and barren as the temperatures outside my window. I could feel myself teetering on the edge of panic. I am committed to writing a blog post each week and I am working on a story for the Sister Writes magazine. How is this going to get done? Time for a list.
I find list making therapeutic. It feels calming to order my thoughts into single file sentences and to write them down in numbered rows. As I sort and write, cross off and sort and write again, the fear subsides. The trick is to make short lists that can be completed. Impossibly long lists can become a menace all their own because you never get everything done. This week I needed a list that would soothe and reassure, and remind myself that time is not the enemy. It’s 3 items long.
- Remember that time spent walking, contemplating, reading and planning, is just as important as actual writing time.
I walk a lot. As I relax into my stride, breathe in fresh air and listen to the birdsong, my mind lessens it’s hold on “should-dos” and other obligations and begins to meander. Ideas surface and I turn them this way and that, discarding some, hanging onto others. I don’t hold tight, but let my thoughts take a natural course. It’s on my walks that I often come up with story outlines or fragments of poems. I am not oblivious to what’s around me as I walk, just the opposite. Especially on days when the process is free and flowing, I feel in sync with the movement of leaves on the trees, with the caress of a breeze on my face or the crunch of snow beneath my boots. Sometimes I stop and jot a few lines down in my notebook (easier to do in the nice weather than in winter), because even the clearest ideas can evaporate if you don’t pin them down.
When I feel tired and cranky, as I did last week, reading can remind me why I love storytelling. There is no better antidote for the creativity doldrums than reading well-crafted sentences that take your breath away. Inspiring and motivating, good writing makes you feel happy to be alive. Reading is never a waste of time.
Contemplation is not a time-wasting activity either. Robert Frost once said: “…that for proper artistic growth there must be idleness.” I reminded myself, on the days when my writing cupboard seemed barest, that sitting with a warm mug of tea, looking out at the lake and letting my mind wander freely, was fruitful creative time. I practised having faith that the words would come and the writing would get done.
- When you do write, get to the heart of things.
Writing during times of stress and challenge, is hard enough without adding to the pressure by not getting to the point. I kept a tight rein on the tendency to wander and get off track. I reminded myself many times last week to simply write what I was feeling in my gut, without censure. I didn’t have the time or patience for a lot of revision. And when I found myself labouring over what I was writing I knew I had to stop. I did this even though it meant taking an extra few days to finish a piece.
- Celebrate each small victory.
My self-confidence wavered last week. On the worst days, I wrote down everything I accomplished during the day. I patted myself on the back and said “well done” even if I had only written a paragraph or read one poem. I was gentle with myself. The words did come, eventually.
It is ironic that when you need to write the most-those days when life seems overwhelming or hopeless or just too busy-you can feel least able to do so. Having a list helps and so does going through the motions of doing the writing. It works even when you think it isn’t going to. Putting your thoughts, no matter how disjointed, down on paper grounds you and gives you a sense of control. From there, you can go on.
Lists can also be an interesting way to generate story ideas. Here’s a fun task for this week:
- grab a blank piece of paper and a pen
- you are going to create 4 different lists, of 6 items each
- for each of the 4 lists, write down the first 6 things that come to mind:
List #1: 6 childhood memories
List #2: 6 qualities I admire in people
List #3: 6 greatest fears
List #4: 6 roles I have played in my life
- now, go back to each of your 4 lists, and circle one item in each list
- you should have 4 circled items
- set a timer or the alarm on your phone, for 10 minutes
- write a story based on the 4 circled items; don’t lift your pen from the page; just keep writing for 10 minutes
Til next time, keep writing.